(original published date: March 14, 2026)
For close to twenty years, “5 o’clock somewhere” was woven into the very fabric of my life. It governed my habits, my weekends, and—thanks to brunch—it often started well before noon. When I look back at that version of myself, she feels like a stranger. In many ways, she is dead.
But my spirit is alive in Christ Jesus.
That one truth has changed everything. My life is no longer an anxiety-riddled countdown to that first glass of wine. For almost four years now, I have been truly free from the chains of that “soulless liquid” that quenches no thirst.
It’s funny how your favorite times of day shift. Now? My favorite moments are the quiet bookends of sleep. I’m an early riser these days—usually by 5:00 AM, occasionally “sleeping in” until 5:15 AM—because I genuinely love my time with God.
After twenty-plus years of insomnia, I am finally experiencing the best sleep of my life (shoutout to my relationship with God and a little help from HRT!). I honestly didn’t know sleep like this existed. Looking back, I realize the insomnia wasn’t just the alcohol; it was the toxic—and frankly, evil—influences I allowed in my life.
I was surrounded by people who created the very anxiety they then mocked me for having. They told me I wasn’t a “true Christian” because I struggled with worry, all while they spent their time scolding and belittling me. That kind of toxicity can drive anyone to the bottle – and it did.
Restored and Protected
As of the 22nd of this month, I will be sober for three years and nine months. Since leaving a narcissistic, abusive relationship eighteen months ago, my rest has been a God-send.
He visits me in my sleep. Through dreams and visions, He has protected me and warned me. Sometimes I wake up saying, “What was that?”—which is just an invitation to pray for the discernment that only the Holy Spirit can provide.
A Lens of Truth
My routine is now anchored in the Word—in my Bible and my devotional—before I ever touch my phone in the morning. Tonight, as the world feels increasingly heavy with the ongoing news of war in the Middle East, I found myself drawn to Psalm 139. I ended up reading for hours.
I came across a note in the margins that struck a chord:
“We can look at our relationship with God through the lens of our culture, or we can look at our culture through the lens of God’s Word.”
To my brothers and sisters in Christ: let’s not forget to start and end our days with our Father. In a world of chaos, He is the one who holds us in His hands and watches over His people. He is the true thirst-quencher (John 4:14 “but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again”).
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